Would You Date Someone Who's Been Married Multiple Times? Here's Why You Should... »
Posted by: dan-and-jennifer 5 months, 3 weeks agoIt finally happened. You met someone you really like. There seems to be a connection, you have a great timetogether, and you think that maybe it's time to take the relationship to the next level.
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Charlson5 months, 3 weeks ago
I am a happily married man but if I was single, why not. You're only going to date them and have not yet committed to a marriage. But I would caution on going too fast, too soon. Give the relationship some time. Maybe that was the problem for her the other four times.
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contentmanager5 months, 3 weeks ago
My immediate answer is yes, because she has a proven track record for being easy to bed. Date yes - marry no.
I thought my immediate gut reaction would prove me to be the coldest blooded person in this thread. Boy howdy, I was wrong!
"Why would anybody marry someone else's old used meat?" WOW! I am amazed at this, "used meat" - which tree did you just fall out of?
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BoxMonkey5 months, 3 weeks ago
I think thatstatement can go male or female . And it's a funny statement .
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sumptuousdigs5 months, 3 weeks ago
Your posts do show a lack of imagination, among other things.
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sumptuousdigs5 months, 3 weeks ago
I think most people get married because they are in love. After a period of time, they are challenged by what exactly is it to love. When 'in love', one's object of desire seemingly has no imperfections. Passion can give one beer goggles. LOL!
Over time, real life, and real personalities emerge. Value differences, secrets, and other seeming flaws become visible. It takes communication, and a certain amount of maturity to realize that not everything is a compromise. Some things we have to accept. It's that word, acceptance that is the key.
People are individuals, and must be allowed to be themselves. If one can accept their partner for who they are, then a future together is possible. If one finds they cannot, then they have to accept the fact that in spite of other qualities, their relationship will be handicapped, and a split is probably inevitable. It does not make either of them bad people.
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price15 months, 3 weeks ago
At this point in my life, if he treated me fairly and we had no other problems, yes, I would DATE him. I have no intentions of marrying so it wouldn't phase me at all.
price1
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sumptuousdigs5 months, 3 weeks ago
Painful emotions often leave scar tissue. The human eye has no tolerance for imperfections on the lens surface. It will brake open time and time again until the scar is gone. The process is painful, yet necessary, for clear vision. I experienced that kind of healing, and given the choice, would have foregone the pain, and been blind in the left eye.
Now consider the human heart. It is natural to avoid pain. The miracle is, that given the chance, one can learn about themselves and become capable of real, unconditional love. It is by exercising the compassion muscle that we learn about ourselves. The earnest interest in others opens our own hearts for inspection, and the scars shrink.
Unconditional love allows one to let go, and have only good will for one that might otherwise be an enemy. If bitterness exists for some, they must resolve that in their own way, in their own time. It's their life, and their handicap. Nothing's to be gained by heaping on the stones.
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sumptuousdigs5 months, 3 weeks ago
BoxMonkey, I hear ya!
I'm suggesting that the 'bad elements' are more destructive for the one carrying them than the one that had, for a time, tolerated them. Aside from the truly evil few that afflict humankind, rapists, murderers, true sadists,etc., most of us run into immature, yet attractive people from time to time. I maintain that it's easier to set down my bag of rocks, than haul around that useless ammunition. I also have learned to detect another's invisible bag of rocks.
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BoxMonkey5 months, 3 weeks ago
I'm having a hard time agreeing . I understand what you wrote ,and read it several times . I just can't get that picture of [in most cases], a woman who can't talk 'cause her old man broke her jaw , or gave her a black eye , or the guy who tolerates the constant slapping . Scars are scars . I hear alot of peoples inner most secret desires and feelings . God has given me the gift of listening , of consoling . I agree with the immature stuff . But the damage done takes years and in some cases a lifetime to reconcile . That useless ammunition can not be ignored . I agree "you" have to come to terms with "it". But it is not lightly dealt with . Thank you .
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sumptuousdigs5 months, 2 weeks ago
BoxMonkey, I agree with you, that acts of violence or extreme breaches of trust are not easy to dismiss. My only solution (that has worked for me) is that the sooner one comes to grips with those wrongs, the better off they are.
In this, there are some practical therapeutic paths for inner healing. One is to understand the two basic feelings, love and fear. The other is to separate one's self from the source of abuse, and separate who owns the onus. (...and certainly "render unto Caesar" the judgment of dealing with the legal payment for any crimes that were committed).
Through all of this, the victim has to heal and go on with their life. With your consoling words, attentive ear, and helpful counsel, I'm sure you're making a positive difference, and my hat is off to you.
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sumptuousdigs5 months, 3 weeks ago
I have little respect for phrases like "used meat". What the frick is that about? Cannibalism? It seems like a cynical and narrow view of people, that leaves no room for human beings. Some old customs would have a widow burned to death, because she is used meat. How many scars are on your hide, grandpa? Are you privy to all of your partner's secrets? Do you live inside her skin? If so, I feel sorry for her, it must be crowded. On the other hand, she must be a saint, with an abundance of compassion, to suffer such an intolerant and self righteous sack of sanctimony wrapped in skin. Having read other posts you've made in a similar vein, I suspect the air is rare where you reside, and the tree is lofty indeed.
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ecotourusa5 months, 3 weeks ago
oooh- yuk...when you put it that way. so, there are women and men out there less deserving of love because they've been around a bit?
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Georgia505 months, 3 weeks ago
I married once and I was her third husband. No regrets.* Her mistakes spanned from late teen to mid twenties. We married in our mid-thirties, and by that time she had matured substantially.
*That is, no regrets with HER. Her daughter's marriage to a complete loser mind**ck will be a constant source of annoyance. But even that dark cloud has a silver lining: two of the most awesome grandkids a guy could ever hope for.
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sumptuousdigs5 months, 3 weeks ago
"My wife feels ...". Of course she does.
And that's where I quit believing either one of you. Not being in her skin, you have to take her word. It's just my opinion that due to the fact that you exhibit an unforgiving and narrow view of the subject (It appears it is all about sex to you), and even if sex were the exclusive focus of the article, one that may be tied to you financially, or through limited choices, might agree with your every word. Or else.
I have never met anyone without any frailty, or flaws, before. I've heard that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
Are you God?
Can I have your autograph?
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