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Comments So Far: 49

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  david_nwpa1 year, 1 month ago

  By dropping our emotional insecurities and opening up our borders, we become open to the potential for more sex. Does it necessarily improve in quality as a result?

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    dan-and-jennifer1 year, 1 month ago

    Hmmm... Good question.

    I know that we have a lot of fun playing emotional sex games and we would not be able to do that if we did not have absolute trust between the two of us.

    So in our case, yes it does improve the quality and the quantity! ;-)

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      IncaQueen1 year, 1 month ago

      I prefer a sexually submissive male, in other words one that is there to please you. That is a turn on for me.

      But you're right. It does require trust. He doesn't tell, I don't tell, but he gets more sex because of his attitude, not his size and locker room bragging afterwards.

      If he is more concerned with sports than me, I let him hug the curb, which is where he ends up, on the sidelines...not playing ball.

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    GODIMMAD1 year, 1 month ago

    I have exp in the opp. My wife used to have UTI every time we made love. So I started putting up a "fence" between us so we got to a point of never having sex bc I didnt want her to be in that pain and trouble. Now I have to turn that "fence" back down so we can have a happy medium. As far as enjoyment, I have turned off my orgasims (ms) many times throughout my life, even though I dont get the full enjoyment for many reasons. If I have turned it off, That means I have turned it on as well....We control our bodies as long as we want to. We can teach ourselves the Fight/Flight is only fight or to use true judgement in a sit. Just try to imagine yourself in any sit many time over, and how your going to handle it and then that becomes your "primative" sense!

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    mark-stevens1 year, 1 month ago

    The women I knew were attracted to dangerous men. Ted Bundy got thirty marriage proposals after admitting to killing 124 women. Single women are generally screwed up in the head, that's why they're single.

    A guy being mentally off helps out, as they seem to fit the twilight zone dating arena. I use to be really messed up, got all the dates I wanted, from strippers to store managers.

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      IncaQueen1 year, 1 month ago

      Every woman simply needs to know that most men are dogs. You have good dogs, you have bad dogs. Quit feeding the bad dogs and reward, feed, an nurture the good dogs. Their eyes may wander, they may even get an appetite looking an another good meal, but remind them you don't care where they get their appetetite as long as they come home for lunch. Otherwise a eunuch makes a very faithful mate.

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  humemacdonald1 year, 1 month ago

  "Your brain doesn't discriminate between actual threat for your survival and emotional threat. "

  I was reading about this last year, and I would just like to add that the brain also doesn't discriminate between actual threat and perceived or imagined threat, which is slightly differen't from emotional threat because with emotional threat at least the underlying situation is in fact reality.

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    Jaydee401 year, 1 month ago

    Perception is reality right.

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      LordyLordy1 year, 1 month ago

      I guess the point I'd like to make is that fear isn't love, it's fear. If she feels fear or he feels fear the love is often gone, which also means sex exits stage left usually before love is gone.

      If a woman is afraid of you, she doesn't love you, she's afraid of you?

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  Mutainia1 year, 1 month ago

  The brain really is the sexiest part of the person, IF it's working right. I met a girl who I was incredibly attracted to, sexually, but, her personality was so cold and distant, that, I found it difficult to even have her as a friend. I felt sorry for her because, really, she "had all that". She was VERY beautiful, but, soul-less, it seemed. No sense of humor, ALL business as she just used me as a sounding board. She DID love her cats, though.

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    Jaydee401 year, 1 month ago

    Some people are all fluff, some are made of substance. Packaging is nice to look at but sooner or later you are going to have to talk to them and if they don't have a mind and a heart it can be a long night.

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  aamamy1 year, 1 month ago

  This is a great article. Many people would never realize or think of this at all.

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  kedirian1 year, 1 month ago

  "Sex happens in the brain".

  So, when women complain of a "headache", they are on to something, huh?

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    dan-and-jennifer1 year, 1 month ago

    :-)

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    onlinecasino1 year, 1 month ago

    lol they are F**** mans brains :)

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      IncaQueen1 year, 1 month ago

      That is where some of their brains are at all right.

      My mother used to say there are two ways to a man's heart and they are about 18 inches apart. Neither think much though, they just react to stimulus. A nice meal captures them but then they may fall asleep on the couch? Same reaction?

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    IncaQueen1 year, 1 month ago

    I never have a headache if he knows what to do and cares about you.

    You just get the motor running...chocolate helps!

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  NelsonR1 year, 1 month ago

  Be celibate and think about Bush/Cheney. You are consequently without a partner to satisfy.

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    m-simon1 year, 1 month ago

    Al Gore and John Kerry work for me.

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  bumbaklotartattack1 year, 1 month ago

  I hear sex under totalitarian dictatorship is really hot. Sex is even hotter when you have broken families that kick out kids for the government to brainwash, while "mom" and "pop" (or maybe for neo-Americans "mom and mom" or "dad and dad") work 60 hours a week.

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  Emper0r1 year, 1 month ago

  Oh according to this article I should treat my woman nicely to receive sex... oh I feel so enlightened ;)

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  Jaydee401 year, 1 month ago

  After I started treating my wife like a person and not a possession we had less sex, she thought I didn't find her sexy enough to want to keep. I keep hoping we will fall in love again.

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    humemacdonald1 year, 1 month ago

    Jaydee- that sounds so sad-really.

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      Jaydee401 year, 1 month ago

      Not sad, I still love her and I can see that she still loves me from time to time. A lot of things get in the way for couples now, money is number one with a bullet, but peoples lives are full of so many things that they don't need that there is very little left for the important things.

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  soap_mkr1 year, 1 month ago

  I agree with Jaydee. It's not sad but just something to work through. right now I'm so busy with work it is affecting our sex life. Best of luck to you.

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  eastsidejo1 year, 1 month ago

  Very thoughtful article, from this one can fully understand why casual sex is so shallow and unfulfilling. I might also add thatone of the reasons that I find my wife so attractive is that she was created in the image of God, and not a descendant of a reptile or an ape.

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  seattlewiz1 year, 1 month ago

  Computer guys need to pull there science knowledge out on the woman!

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  KnightsDragon21 year, 1 month ago

  ahh now i understand , i trust no one ...ever .so trust is at the root huh. who would of thought i thought it was a mutual thing that both wanted a bio/ natural thing like breathing .i never equated it to trust. i stupidly thought it had to do with love . oh well live n learn

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    dan-and-jennifer1 year, 1 month ago

    Can you really have what most people term 'romantic love' without trust?

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      mark-stevens1 year, 1 month ago

      If you eat enough Zoloft, like I do!! I'm not joking on that one!!

      Than again the artice was about sex... the kind ya see on TV!!

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    mark-stevens1 year, 1 month ago

    Love maybe the apple that Eve took... why love anyone, if you got to hang out with God.

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  mickmilis1 year, 1 month ago

  I got great sex by becoming great with women to start off with. I took Alex Nova's dating workshop and my success rate sjy rocketed. Their site is http://www.attractwomen.com.au

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    mark-stevens1 year, 1 month ago

    "Success rate" touch downs, third base, racks, trophy, scoring... ah it makes ya fell warm and fuzzy!!

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  ntuitive11 year, 1 month ago

  I agree that there are primitive parts of the brain that trigger primitive emotional states, and supposedly we have evolved beyond that emotionally as well as rationally. But I think it's a bit simplistic to reduce all emotional reaction with what arises from that primitive part of the brain. Who was it that said that all emotional reactions can be reduced to fear? I forget. I just think there are some problems with this theory. Obviously on some level women like coming from that primitive place as much as men, and this is actually what makes them want sex in the first place - That they can enjoy being on this more animal-like level. Actually, rationality is the death of sex. One has to keep themselves open to feeling "animalistic" to enjoy sex. Of course feeling safe is important too, but women forgo that on a daily basis or the species would never survive, LOL.

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    dan-and-jennifer1 year, 1 month ago

    I believe that emotional reaction comes from only one of two places: LOVE or FEAR. All emotions can be attributed to one of those two base feelings.

    For example:

    Love = compassion, empathy, forgiveness, etc...

    Fear = Anger, frustration, sadness...

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  staar1 year, 1 month ago

  Jaydee..that is for you to change..my husband and I work as little as possible and play as much as we can..there is no keeping up with the jone's in our family...we have what we need and that is all we want..why do people work so much? why do people feel they need so much (stuff).. keep it simple..go back to basic's..

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    dan-and-jennifer1 year, 1 month ago

    Wow... This is a very wise statement. For Dan and I, it seems the less we worry and work for 'things', the better our life becomes.

    Don't worry, we're not planning on giving up electricity or running water any time soon, or even our wireless internet connection, but we've discovered that we really don't need, or even want, the latest and greatest of everything.

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    joeblowe1 year, 1 month ago

    Are you crazy? Did you forget: "He who dies with the most toys, WINS!" {8>D)=

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      mark-stevens1 year, 1 month ago

      That statement would also be like saying "commit sucide, be first to cross the line"

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  ListenUP1 year, 1 month ago

  This brain and sex stuff is SO true. I remember thinking this brainless chick was a hottie and I couldn't get her body off my mind. But she just screwed with my head.

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  brite20061 year, 1 month ago

  "Safety is what leads to continued, warm intimate and frequent sex."

  Hm...and there I was thinking that when a woman feels safe, she often no longer feels like she has to make the effort. Cue that for the man, too. :)

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  mamasan1 year, 1 month ago

  So, if you want more sex, work toward more emotional safety in your relationship. Emotional safety is accomplished by awareness of and sensitivity to what our partner is feeling. It means being aware that when our partner feels threatened and is yelling or acting angry toward us, we listen to what is underneath their angry behavior. We ask them for more information about what may have hurt them and own up to our part in whatever occurred. This doesn't mean passively letting them have their way, it means sharing about what we honestly feel and negotiating a result that works for both of you.

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    turnitupsidedown1 year, 1 month ago

    bit off topic, but im glad your sex life is great mama! im not the jealous type, lol! what ever happened to this cali band? hope all is well! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3a3W8vjV2Es

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  alexander13801 year, 1 month ago

  I liked the part about explaining the parts of the brain and how the emotions rule the logic in most human situations.

  Very informative and quality advice we can all learn from.

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  astrovineet1 year, 1 month ago

  Well sex or anything, all starts from our brain only...

  We should know what are our needs and what are our demands.. what we can have and what we can't .. what we should have and what we should not..

  I hope these points, if we keep in mind, will help us for sure...

  Viineet Jain

  (www.askastro.com)

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  Planeteer1 year, 1 month ago

  Regarding the other posting regarding women have more fun with sex lead to no new information. This topic seems to provide no new insights. Are the new adults any better than the oldies?

  Sex was discussed among men in the work place in the old days. People talked about their extra marital adventures in privacy among men. Have things changed that much these days?

  Something tells me that all the people posting their thinking here are relatively older adults.

  Not many ladies posting any of their secrets that men should know about! Actually all talk here is as if everything is known and understood by everyone, and there is nothing really to discuss.

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  Macondo1 year, 1 month ago

  To all :Just for a theoretical exercise I would like to read your opinions.

  Sexual drive sits in the brain in the area of the Hypothalamus, not to mention the pudendum plexus located down in the pelvic area.

  Question where sits religion in the brain?

  I suspect the corresponding centers are close neighbors.

  The high incidence of anomalies related to sexual behavior by priests, preachers and religious fanatics of all denominations, has to have a physiologic explanation.

  Also the psychological fixation of morals in sex.

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  netblogs1 year, 1 month ago

  if you want more sex you have to make sex.

  sex releases several hormones in the body, increases intimacy and bonding, and works against loneliness and depression, plus is very healthy.

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