Should You Condemn Yourself to a Bad Relationship for Life Because of Religion and Guilt? »
Posted By JaneMay 1 year, 6 months ago in StyleShould You Condemn Yourself to a Bad Relationship for Life Because of Religion and Guilt? Should you separate, get a divorce, or stay married no matter what? Take the Poll to see where You fit in!
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Comments So Far: 24
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BoxMonkey1 year, 6 months ago
You need to read the other story about that guy in France ripping his wifes' eyes out for lack of nookie . Then say "Til death do us part".
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waterdoc1 year, 6 months ago
Regardless of the semantics designed to make people feel better, after you've gone through the ceremony, lived together as husband-and-wife, including sex and children, an annulment and divorce are teh same thing. At some point the church and those who believe that they're different just have to deal with it and stop villifying those who are honest about it!
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TOtheMOON1 year, 6 months ago
Religion is for those afraid of Hell.
Spirituality is for those who have already been there.
If you live your life by religious beliefs, that is fine. When I was living that way I was "working" towards 1 goal. To go to Heaven when I died. Living by the "rules". Not until after my hubby died did I realize that I wasn't *living* a very fulfilling life. Religion didn't keep me from the pain I was experiencing here on earth. I needed something to make me feel better NOW. Religion was taking the focus off of today and putting it on my life after my death.
So my life now is about spirituality. I make today great and don't worry about tomorrow. If I am in a sucky situation, then I change it. If you are in a bad marriage and there is a way out - change it. We all deserve happiness today. I don't believe that there is any reason to suffer through life by following religious rules. Personally, I feel it is a sin to not try to better your life.
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MInTheGap1 year, 6 months ago
This whole article misses the point. The writer is deceived and is deceiving those that would read it to believe that marriage is all about love. That's wrong. Marriage is all about commitment. Now, I understand that the man has been unfaithful-- but I also understand that the vows say "for better or for worse."
Who are these writers to a) judge the person's church as being wrong about counseling and b) to claim that they are a monopoly on truth?
Regardless of all of this, marriage is about commitment and self-sacrificing love... but I guess this woman wouldn't have asked these permissive people for their advice if she didn't want affirmation of her own decision.
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TOtheMOON1 year, 6 months ago
If you are basing this on the 'agreements' made when they spoke their wedding vows, then you would probably agree that this guy basically ripped up the contract when he failed to "forsake" all others. Do you also think he "love(ed)" "cherish(ed)" & "comfort(ed)" her during this time? Probably not. I would say he made their contract null and void. Just my tho't.
By the way, I am only assuming that these would be in their 'agreement' as they are traditional vows.
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Charlson1 year, 6 months ago
When one of you breaks your vows, why should the other be bound by them? Hey, he left her and when he found out she had someone else, he now wants her back. He is scum and she deserves better. But she keeps beating herself up like a professional victim. Go figure!
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clh191 year, 6 months ago
Sorry to completely disagree, but if a person (moreover, a child) is in ANY danger due to a bad marriage, the victim(s) should have NO obligation to stick around and try to "fix what they have."
Point blank, some marriages CAN'T be fixed.
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Truzseeker1 year, 6 months ago
Marriage is a business arrangement, and nothing more especially involving the law, and separation, annulment, or dissolution are terms also common to a corporation.
Also this legal business arrangment defines the rights of the parties to the contract/marriage license, and men have little or no rights in the courts prescribed in advance by law.
Experience and a little digging has further revealed that a custodial parent can even make knowingly false or fraudulent statement to the department of child support services in order to obtain wage garnishment even though child support is already being paid!
Marriage is already becoming a thing of the past as more couples are deciding against it, and for good reason. Finally they are those waking up the fact that someone someday will make money from the misery that marriage causes making preneptual agreements that much more important for those that really want to be married.
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TOtheMOON1 year, 6 months ago
This woman was not going to go back to S. Shes going to keep looking until she finds someone who tells her its okay to dump him. She didn't want to be the one to make that decision on her own (even tho she had already made up her mind - subconsciously - that she wasn't going to stay with him.). She wanted to be with D.
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dan-and-jennifer1 year, 6 months ago
I think that's about the long and short of it. But with all the pressure she was getting to go the other way, she didn't know how to follow the path she truly wanted in her heart to take.
Have an awesome day!
Dan
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TOtheMOON1 year, 6 months ago
I agree. Loving only ourselves is not the best way to go. But I believe you should love yourself 1st. Nobody else is going to step up and love you before themselves. That's your responsibility. And if you are not true to yourself, you are going to be unhappy.
Ever do something for the sake of others? Someone "bully's" you to do what they want even tho you don't agree. You do it but you might be peeved about it. What a way to live. I burn WAY too much useful energy being p!ssed off at people, so I try to avoid it by being true to myself. By putting myself first. And I don't apologize about that. I say "No" when I mean "No". That sort of thing. And I wouldn't enjoy finding out that someone was going along with something I said or did - and becomes resentful about it - just to please me.
So - Does this guy truly want his wife to stay with him knowing that she doesn't love him and loves someone else?? I certainly wouldn't want that.
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Charlson1 year, 6 months ago
Where in that statement does it say, "if we only love ourselves..." or even imply it? You don't have to be religious to know and have love for yourself and others.
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