Sex Poll: Would You Consider Swinging or Polyamory? »
Posted by: JaneMay 1 year, 6 months agoDan and Jennifer's recent article "My Best Friend's a Swinger - Will She Burn in Hell?" sparked such conversation and controversy; they just had to take a poll. Answer this short poll to see where you fit in with the rest of the world on this incredibly controversial topic.
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Comments So Far: 53
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Alternative1 year, 6 months ago
I'm nuetral on this subject but there were articles saying that more woman are unsatisfied with their relationships than men. So, maybe this is a way for woman to see the light. The grass is not always greener on the other side. Could it possibly be that woman have as much of a desire to be with more than one mate than men? Perhaps they just hide that fact better. Besides, I have not had sex in so long, I would have sex with the wife and send the husband a check hehe.
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SaniaWyatt1 year, 6 months ago
Couples have no inhibitions in indulging in any sexual lifestyle nowadays. Atleast hope they are having lots of fun doing it! ;)
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edwardmills1 year, 6 months ago
Wendy. Maybe you're just blogging too much! Just kidding.
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mulembo1 year, 6 months ago
I have not read the article nor participated the poll yet. and I don't think i will do that either. But this is what I would like to comment, I totally respect the right people have redarding how to live their lives. They can do the hell whatever they want. But my view of marriage and love is this regarding 'swinging',
That's not love or marriage I call. If I love someone, I wouldn't share the person with rest of the world but me, period. True love makes you feel that way. And I have been lucky enough to have experienced that. If people swing, to me, that's not love. They can say they still love each other madly or what not, to me, that's total bullsh-t. If you really really love someone, there's no f--king way that you want to share that person with other strangers physically. I just can't imagine doing that to someone I love. True love is selfish.
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redLineRunner1 year, 6 months ago
My first reaction to your post mulembo was "I would consider true love selfLESS". After all, I would be willing to die for my wife. I want her to be happy, content, etc. even if it means subverting my wants and desires for hers. Of course, I hope she thinks the same way, so that it isnt a one sided relationship.
I also find it interesting that your post is full of "doing that to someone I love" and "I wouldnt share". It seems very much a "me" perspective, instead of a "we" or "them" perspective. What if the person you are with WANTS to try swinging or something you dont? You seem to assume that your partner is of the same mind as you, so by doing it you would be subjecting them to something they dont want. But that may not be the case. (In general, not meaning you specifically).
That sounds like a criticism, and I dont mean it that way - I just wanted to look at it from another perspective.
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kriicket1 year, 6 months ago
I would truly hope that a married couple is of like mind in the sexual intimacy part of their relationship...if they aren't, then trouble abounds. And I wholeheartedly believe that these issues should be talked about before marriage. When you take the vow to "keep me only unto thee, til death us do part", that's exactly what it means.
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david_nwpa1 year, 6 months ago
Thanks Sage for sharing. I think you know me well enough by now to know that your adventure is NOT every man's dream. Just read my bio and you will understand. Having said that, woo hoo for you, buddy.
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topperjax1 year, 6 months ago
I am one who has no problem with swinging, but polygamy is out. And yes, there is such a thing as friendship sex. It all depends on how "grown up" the two involved are.
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mulembo1 year, 6 months ago
To redlinrunner,
Actual my last line was true love is selfish and selfless at the same time, but then I deleted the last couple words. I totally respect your opinion. And it's true that a relationship has to come from both sides. I was speaking in a general terms. If two people are trully in love with one another, i don't think they would share the other one with strangers. that's my thinking...everyone has their own definition of what true love is. I just expressed mine. that's all. and i respect everone's opinion here.
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redLineRunner1 year, 6 months ago
I dont disagree with you. I just wanted to play devils advocate a bit and see how you would respond. I wouldnt want to think about sharing my wife (married now 15 years) with anyone, and I would be completely shocked if she had any of those kinds of thoughs or wants.
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kriicket1 year, 6 months ago
Personally, I love my husband....and I don't want to share him with anyone....and I don't want to give myself to anyone but him. He is a good man, works hard, and I have the "biggest" kind of respect for him. He deserves nothing less than my loyalty...and the way I see it, if you share yourself with another person, then you aren't loyal to your spouse. Anyway....to each his own I guess.
When it comes down to it, you have to live with yourself and the decisions you have made. Make the kind of decisions that won't bring about any regrets. I, too, have known someone who was once a swinger with her husband...they later divorced, and she regrets ever letting him talk her into that. I think people just need to be careful with the decisions they make concerning sexual relationships.
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redLineRunner1 year, 6 months ago
I agree - I dont think there is anything wrong with it if both people involved understand what is going on and are really ok with it. If you want to swing, that is your choice, as long as you are not hiding it from your partner or forcing them to join you against their will.
And that goes for any sex. One night stands are ok in my opinion if both people understand that it is a one night stand and nothing more. Its when people like or mislead the other person that it becomes a problem. Same with friend sex and such. If that is what you want to do.
Me, Im happy with my wife, and have no desire to look elsewhere. In fact, I think Im blessed to be with her.
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ballbuster21 year, 6 months ago
so its true, there is extemely little to no morals left in our world(u.s.a.), how sad it is! i'm glad i have just about completed my lifes journey and will not have to watch it go deeper into the garbage heap.
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krayzdrayzor1 year, 6 months ago
First of all I'm not for swinging. But look at the dynamics. When does one look for a new job, while they're employeed or when they're out of a job? So, a sexually active couple who's goals are to get more sexual activity are in all probability going to be more likely to reach that goal in a partnership, rather than a single person trying to pursue sexual oppurtunities alone. For they already look like good perspective participants.
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redLineRunner1 year, 6 months ago
I guess the argument against your point would be ... that is only if sex was the main focus or point of your marriage.
If you are married to someone because the compliment you in every way - intellectually, financially, emotionally and sexually, then one could make an argument that sex is just one part of the relationship, and it doesnt mean the others are bad.
It all depends on peoples definition of, or reasons for, a marriage - which varries greatly these days.
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earthlingerer1 year, 6 months ago
"these days" aren't really any different that "those days" 10,000 years ago. Human beings are still serial monogamists...meaning they have "one partner" at a time.
Most "swingers" are normal people. who decided to something with their friends. maybe 1 in 20 of these couples take it further than that, meaning the whole internet/magazine thing.
As a husband, I'd have to ask you which is better: You're wife just getting it from another man (for any of a thousand different reasons), or her getting something for you to do, too.
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Amazing11 year, 6 months ago
I'm lucky. I really like my husband. I love him, too. But I like him as well. As a friend, a companion, a partner and as my slap and tickle buddy. It works for us.
If others are happy living another way, that's fine by me. The only time someone else's sex life is any of my business is when they figure they're gonna dance the tango with me. Then, it's my business.
How others view this question is really what works for them. Human beings wouldn't be nearly so interesting if we were all the same.
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pismo1 year, 6 months ago
I wouldn't mind trying it, but only because I can't stand my wife and would welcome the chance to pawn her off. Maybe I could get lucky and someone would steal her from me.
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Lincoln851 year, 6 months ago
Netscape does it again! Another story that is truly about what is important. ata boy..keep up the 3rd rate journalism.
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houseofyum1 year, 6 months ago
Swinging- definitely not. I see marriage as a lifelong vow to one person. I think it's pointless to get married in the first place if swinging is an interest. Why bother marrying then?
Polyamory- maybe. I think it could be very satisfying with the right kind of likeminded (selfless, unpretentious, loving, giving, etc.) people.
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houseofyum1 year, 6 months ago
I think there is a difference. A traditional marriage includes an understanding that only two people will be involved emotionally and sexually.
On the outset of a polyamorous agreement or relationship, it is known that more than two people are to be involved.
See? :)
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braveone1 year, 6 months ago
swinging AKA wife swapping is fun, if you're bored, or curious or in a rut with your mate, sometimes it's good, if you are both up for it, the wife and I have been enjoying for years. beats lying and cheating.
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earthlingerer1 year, 6 months ago
Nah, couldn't bring myself to wear some social misfits dirty underwear, let alone worse.
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catstevensComment removed: User banned.1 Reply
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royal-m1 year, 6 months ago
iF THE THIRD PARTy IS A WOMAN THEN SIGN ME UP...I have no desire to see another dude naked and never will but treesome thing I could go. Of course I'd end up shot with my own glock if I did
But the wife would never go for it and she a better shot than me. A word of advice if you plan anything like this never teach your borderline pacifist wife (her Mama was a starchild) how to shoot a pistol on your second date...it will have reprussions down the line
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earthlingerer1 year, 6 months ago
If the third party is another woman, you and your boyfriend would be better off alone, without your wife and another woman.
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nottinghills1 year, 6 months ago
You'd probably get same poll results for people that would want trade in their husband /wife. It's sad world we live in. :(
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aceofspades11 year, 6 months ago
swinging is a bad thing to do especially if you are holding a shotgun & swinging around without looking - your partner gets a facejob - Ask Dick C -- damn I couldn't let a whole thread go without Some Cheney bashing
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AJaye1 year, 6 months ago
No way...I married the love of my life...We are very happy together...Will love her forever & beyond...
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AJaye1 year, 6 months ago
No way...I married the love of my life...We are very happy together...Will love her forever & beyond... PS: We are married 32 yrs..
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